
If you are reading this, chances are you want to date someone, or already are. I think that is a great thing!! I think you should date, but my concern and desire is that you would date in a certain way. If you are going to date, you need to know what you are getting into. You need to have a biblical idea of what dating actually is. Let me provide for you a working definition of dating. Having a defined course for dating is helpful, in many ways, but let me share one with you. Let’s say you are dating this person and yall are having a wonderful time, but you start to realize something isn’t right, maybe even sinful. You can recall what you have defined dating to be for you, run it by Jesus and His word and see if you spidey sense is right.
WHY DO WE NEED A BIBLICAL DEFINITION? — Dating is not even in the Bible, so I can kind of make up mind and do what I want, right?
Answer: NO!!
While dating is not a concept or practice found in the Bible, but guess what is…
1) Lordship (ownership)
When you became a Christian, made new by the Holy Spirit, Jesus became Lord, King, Sovereign, over your life. Your life is not your own, neither is your body (1 Cor. 6:19-20). This truth applies not only to dating, but to every realm of life. You are now to follow, submit and honor God, with the Spirit’s Help (Romans 8:13-14) and the Father’s pruning (John 15:1-2). This means that your dating relationship, must have as it is aim to please Jesus, not just you or the other person (2 Cor. 5:9).
Simply, even your dating relationship is to bring glory to God (1 Cor. 10:31). Which means that you cannot simply do whatever you want, because your way leads to death (Proverbs 16:25, 28:26) and God’s wisdom leads to life and holiness (Proverbs 10:17, 12:28).
2) The World has a definition and you need to rail against it.
“In 1896 the word dating was introduced as a lower-class slang in reference to prostitution. ‘Going on a date’ was a euphemism for paying for sex.” (Mark Driscoll, Religion Saves, p.181). While this may not be the overwhelming definition today, this mode of dating is still held by some, it’s just not as blatant.
The 21st century practice of dating is geared more towards temporary pleasure and joy than a life long covenant in marriage. This is evidenced by what questions are asked after the date, by friends and family. Wrong idea of dating: “Did you have a nice time?” Of course you should have a nice time!! But if that is where the question stops, it’s failing. Right idea of dating: “Are they marriage material?”
3) Get to the point!
What is the point in dating? There is one singular point. Here’s what dating is not…
- To see if you are compatible. You can learn this as friends without getting your hearts wrecked, when you learn you aren’t. Honestly, I think the compatability card is an excuse to not mature, kill your own sin, and humble yourself to love another sinner.
- To learn what you like. Yuck!!! Do not do this!! You know what you should like already. A Christian! (more on this later)
- To find the one. No, no, no. You know you have found ‘the one’, when you are looking at each other, dressed very fancy and you both say, “I do.” You’ll know then, that you found the one that God has had for you.
The point to dating is…TO GET MARRIED.
If you don’t want to get married, don’t date. If you aren’t ready to get married in the not to distant future, don’t date. Dating is for people who want to get married, not for children.
DATING DEFINED
The byline of the dating series is: men, women and dating for the glory of God. It’s helpful to build our definition off of that.
Defined…
A Christian man and woman, who are making it known that they are in a committed relationship, and are now looking towards marriage with great intentionality.
Definition will be expounded more tomorrow in pt. 2.